Monday, July 11, 2011

two people looking to find some solace in this crazy fake life that we all strive so hard to be successful at

one man came from a far away land for a journey in my home land.


we met 3 years ago at this super important accounting conference; the USA man, myself, and the Korean prodigy, him. two men on their ways to being the accountants of tomorrow. i was lucky enough to study in the prodigies home land for two years where our friendship blossomed and grew. I returned home in search of some fake success which the system tells me is important. again we are the accountants of tomorrow! i am on the brink of more education while he is solving all the M&A needs of his land.

Although he is very busy, always working hard to solve the problems of tomorrow, he ran into a sudden vacation. i got word on friday and i was at seatac airport picking him up on sunday. it was great.

we both had this burning bitterness burning deep within ourselves and felt the need to suck it from our bodies and blood. so we did the thing that most smart men do. we drank it out. you see, by adding poison to our already poisoned bodies, we can cure ourselves. unfortunately the poison was too deep for the normal methods known to smart men.

we finally arrived on the only next logical choice for smart men. we chose to go on some sort of spiritual excursion. the excursion to find some peacefulness in this world where we see to many faces everyday. we wanted an escape from all that we knew and hated within the dirty fake system which we wanted and want to strive in so badly.

by wed we were gone. our bags stacked up bearing all the essentials of a spiritual journey.



we drove for around 2 hours, because real journeys of the spiritual sort, start with long drives. although we wanted to go further away, snow was a problem. many of the high peaks had too much snow to get too. we finally arrived, and had begun the journey to find truth.


before not too long we reached the first stream to cross. we rested while drinking some water. our 40 lb packs were starting to eat into our shoulders, but we would soon forget how to feel pain. we crossed the first stream with ease and continued on our long long path to the top.

we crossed about 7 more streams along the way. we weaved too and from and each time we found water we grew happy to find a friend. we hiked up the mountain listening only to the songs which the birds provided. we would converse about our past times at times, although not often. and sometimes we would ask some sort of philosophical question which had no answer in the fake world.

we were also blessed with the hottest day of the year, the sun was out in its golden beautiful form. about 6 hours in we reached a river. at this point we were delirious. we had climbed for 6 long hours. the mosquitoes were getting the best of us. we were loosing to nature. but our will to find something real was our top priority. we were willing to risk it all. we had to cross the river. we had no gear to do so. so we did what smart men do best. we took off our pants. took off our shoes. and we were ready for action.

the river was much stronger then we anticipated, and reaching the midpoint was when we realized we had made a terrible mistake. one slip and we were gone; we would have lost trying to find truth.

we had about 40 feet left to the other side, or 40 feet to return home. it was late already, and turning back was not an option. we somehow went through this dance of words without actually speaking to each other. we just stood, still in belly button deep water, in the middle of the river, and then after a long pause we continued on looking for victory.

with the help from a secret place, we reached the other side. as we put back on our pants, we somehow felt refreshed and real. we had accomplished this greatness. we had toyed with failure and won. we were so close to seeing the end of the road.


we had arrived. and we were the only ones to make it. we had reached the final destination. we had won. we had endured all which no other human could on this Wednesday night. we had the lake of truth to ourselves. we had rid ourselves of the system.

although our bodies ached, and we started to feel the pain which we put our bodies through for the previous 7 hours of labor, we knew what time it was. it was time to drink the victory brew. although our packs were heavy we had two special treats for ourselves. 4 brews and a secret power yielding food full of everything that we needed.


after our victory drinks we set up camp before it got to dark. we gathered enough wood to make a nice warming fire where we would toss all the trash and dirt from our minds; the grim that festered deep within our minds, hidden in the basements of our heads.


as we sat silently watching the fire and slowly ridding our bodies of the poison which the fake world had infected us with, the night was approaching.

it was time to replenish our bodies with the powerful nutrients from the truthful world. we got some of the magical alpine lake water, and boiled it on the fire.


we opened our last two brews, and we ate the first meal of our new lives. 짜파게티!

we then gazed at the stars, took in the warmth of the fire which had burned away the evil, and watched the lake as the night took everything back into its breath of darkness.

we finally slept.

when we woke, we took one last look at the lake which gave birth to two new people.

pointed to the mountain tops which gave birth the the lake which in turn gave birth to us and said our goodbyes.

then the two men headed back down the mountain.




sometimes

i like the word sometimes

sometimes i like to take excursions in nature
sometimes i like to sing to my self while driving
sometimes i like to dance after taking a shower to warm my naked self up
sometimes i like to drink coffee with friends
sometimes i like to drink coffee alone without friends
sometimes i like to try to imagine myself living out side of the system
sometimes i like to imagine that this world we live in is a fake place
sometimes i like to wonder what you are thinking about
sometimes i like to think about the past and smile
sometimes i like to find comfort in friends
sometimes i like to read a book and get lost in a new world
sometimes i like to watch harry potter endlessly
sometimes i like to find the whimsical quirks in the world
usually i like sometimes because as long as it is sometimes it is good times

Monday, June 27, 2011

talking a walk

sometimes i want to take an endless walk. the kind of walk that you might imagine in your head. the kind of walk filled with the flowers that you want to see, the trees, the smells, the breeze, the water droplets. i am not sure what the best walk might look like or taste like or smell like or feel like, but i know that i want to be on that walk.

i want to meet some nice or mean spirits during that walk. i want to feel the thoughts of those animals i might encounter. i want to get lost. i want to eat the things that will be growing along the way. i want to dwell deep into that new land.

sometimes i wish i was on that walk. and sometimes i feel like im on this walk, wanting to be on that walk. but i feel so guilty to long for a different walk. i dont want to have feelings of guilt. i just want to have all the other emotions. i love the different feelings that make the sweat fall out from my skin and the feelings when time seems to some how change and it seems to be more understandable and not so constant. i like those times.

sometimes i am so happy to be on this walk. so endlessly happy. looking back, there are endless greatnesses which i have already experienced at this young age. so many amazing spirits. so many amazing thoughts which i have felt from those other creatures. a lot of nice smells haunt my mind.

the rain has washed away so much. i think if it just rains for the rest of my life i will be okay. just rain more and more and more. i dont want it to ever stop raining.


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

goodbye

graduation speeches are always nice. i wanna go on a graduation marathon. try to listen to all of them. so much motivation in them. all that aspiration. all the drive or the fake drive or the drive that we think we are supposed to have. i will be waiting to see what dreams you make come true. what passion you find. i will be waiting for the time when your eyes really look alive and that you show me how much you want that one thing that you will be working so hard to get. i wanna see that. i want to see when you break away from this place and find your place where all your thoughts lead you. the place that keeps you up at night.

those are the best things. if they can keep you up at night, they are good. what was the first thing that kept you up? i think for me it was soccer. i wanted to be better. always. i wanted to be a bit taller too. i thought if i sang "i wish" enough i could be jordan. don't think i got there. the things that people say that touch us in special places, are always the best paintings. i think its time to be the lemmings and jump off to the new place, we don't know where we might be going, but we gotta jump. talking to my self. i will be the best sheep farmer. i dont want to encounter bad sheep anymore. only good ones. i want to make good paintings. good pictures. and eat nice sheep.

goodbye ruby tuesday
who could hang a name on you
when you change with every new day still i'm gonna miss you...


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

sincerity

its pretty hard stuff.

why is it that it is so simple and easy to trust and see the beauty and honestly and sincerity and truthfulness from a person who rose from nothing. All those successful people, all those stores we hear on the television, all those heartbreaking stories of the kids who rose from their dirt covered streets with only their dreams and imaginations. We can look at them, see into there minds, and we instantly trust them. Is it that innocence of expectations? Are we that laced in the expectations around us that we lose that sincerity? that honestly? that trust?

How can we get it back? All the things that drive us are part of the system which we live in. That uncle that tells you what you should be. the Grandma that expects something. the little sister looking on to her older brother for a path of goodness. do we somehow lose some goodness trying to be that good? we are so stuck in the system and so busy trying to beat the system, that we lose so much. I dont want to lose anything anymore. i want to find something nicer then that. can we leave the system? can we escape it? can we find it with our greedy ways. is cleverness a bad thing? are foxes evil?

i think that is why i like oranges. they are pure. they are orange.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

new starts

i feel like im getting a chance to start again. I feel lucky to be off to start a new adventure in a new city with a good outlook. i dont wanna grow up yet i guess. its strange because while most of my friends are working real jobs. going steady. enjoying different things then me. thinking of start ups. eating at fancy restaurants. buying cars and houses. im about to take out a monster loan for some graduate education. i guess its kinda nice though. i am not sad to be living at home. to have a new adventure on the horizon. a chance to live on the other side of the country. i am quite satisfied with the choices i have made and those which have been made possible for me. living across the world for 2 years. and now to go live across the country and grab a nice education while im at it. i just hope the future will lead me to more adventurous and more fun. i dont want to be tied down. dont let me get stuck somewhere. i dont want to ever own something that will tie my down. and because of all this i wonder why i am really always on the run. i dont think im running from something. i think of it as more trying to find something. i want to find that true stuff so bad, that im willing to go anywhere to get it. if you call me tomorrow telling me there is a great opportunity across the world in some crevice of a place. ill be on a plane tomorrow. just make sure that crack in the world has the true stuff. the truth.

Monday, May 23, 2011

i think

i am always ready for the next step. maybe i need to start thinking about the board room meetings that take place in my head. i need to find out all about those secret meetings in basement of my brain. did you get the memo that was left in the attic of my head? bottle up and explode.