Tuesday, August 26, 2014


its 8.26.2014 i like to write dates with periods but i don't think its very excepted.

i also have not written an entry for a long time.

a lot has also gone on in my life since last time i wrote.

i also spend less time on computers since last time i wrote. not more studying for the exam.

as potentially the last exam of my life is over, i am sad and happy. i want to borrow something that many people i like have said, or stated similarly. everyday, we are in a classroom. dont sit still. dont stop learning. funny story, in undergrad, in one of the capstone courses, we wrote a paper about all we had learned, kind of a reflective piece. And although, when i write, i may come across more sensitive and sentimental, in real life i dont think i portray that image. I think i come across more focused and "calm yet intense" (that is what my boss tells me at least). anyways back to the story, so the last sentence of my essay stated "and I will never stop learning". My closest friend in the class blew up laughing and the class followed. The thing was, I was 100% serious.

so what i really wanted to write about was this thought i had after reading something somewhere. this thought really started last friday when a coworker made fun of me because i always say "it is what it is".

So... we live in this world where our friends, humans, have spent their entire existence to come up with truths or rules. we come up with rules that seem to work and than someone smarter with more resources comes up with a counter. and offers a new solution. everything was groundbreaking once. perhaps the only thing that hasnt been fully countered are spiritual things. and thats another conversation. so... we live in this place where the sky is our roof, the ground is earth, there is gravity, there is a sun and a moon, we think its normal to like the opposite sex, but there are lines and some are the middlesex, we think substances that change our state of mind are bad, we hold morals that work in our ideals, there is a type of equality. BUT we just have all these rules and they are always changing and sometimes wrong. one of the things i hate more than anything else is to believe in something so much and so passionately live that idea, only to learn it was wrong. that is the worst feeling i have experienced so far in life. and here i am always saying things like "it is what it is". well maybe its not. and maybe it shouldnt be. we are so caught up in our little earth, living in this construct, like we think its real.

when i was young, my two passions were rocks and space. rocks were easier, so i liked to play with them and could easily find them. space, well that was a little to abstract. i could only read so much, and well physics and math were a little beyond me. but rocks told about our history and were old. it always amazed me that rocks were so old and yet i could hold them and make up stories about how they got here what they were who touched them and so on. they were my stories. space made me feel small and i wanted to know all about it. well now we know there is so much more than our solar system, our earth, and so on. now i feel smaller. now i wonder just how important our little rules are. we are so stuck on our earth and our rules, will we ever really get to see what else is out there?

lets break all the rules.


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