Sunday, January 29, 2012

thinking big

so we are this generation of younger people. each generation faces problems. and each generation adds something. slowly or maybe quickly generations are working together across the world to add value to the world which we tend to like living in. just looking at our generation and how we can help america, i wonder what choices will make this place better. we are the most diverse generation yet. we have the best technology available to us. god-like technology in fact. it has been pointed out to me that our generation has this godlike technology but old silly thoughts. i guess that gap is something that has always existed though.

i have always been one of those kids that didnt think he could make a difference. the one that didnt need to play with politics. that kid that hated watching the news because it only made his mother and his grandmother worry endlessly. now somehow i have transformed into someone who finds himself wanting to know more and more about the world he has been desperately trying to ignore. the people who write the books that i enjoy reading are telling me that my generation needs to go back to some basics and read more. we need to gain more understanding about the world we are living in. and we need to show more compassion and we need to be nice. if we could all just be a bit nicer and smarter we might have a better america. i want a better america. i hope our generation shines through and does some wonderful things. wonderful things are nice and sound lovely.

im kinda sick. and my hands might be shaking a little bit. im not sure how my head is working. but these are the words that fell out of my head on this night. this is a picture that was taken some summers ago. a smart little girl collected some objects from the beach and made an upside down word that might be important.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

important times

i wanted to write about something serious. and i started to do that. i got pretty far. but it wasn't that fun. so instead i will write about when i used to stay awake dreaming about the things i loved. 

when i was scared in bed as most little children are at some point in time, i would think about going to a seattle mariners game. i would think about being next to my father. i would be eating peanuts. i would watch in awe as Griffey took the field. and i would be happy and dream about the next time i would be able to go to a game. 

when i wasn't scared. i would dream about soccer. i would play the whole game out in my head. i would dream about what i wanted to improve in. i would think about how i would be a better player. i would visualize it in my mind over and over again.and it was these thoughts that kept me awake deep into the night. after soccer there was tennis. i would do the same thing. i got better at both things. i also lost a lot of sleep thinking about getting better at these things. as with all things we want to be good at, i would have hard times. i would fail sometimes. and i would have to try harder. staying awake thinking about the things that i wanted to be better at lasted until some point in high school. although i can not recall the exact point in time when i stopped, this sensation has been missing for sometime. of course there were distractions. sometimes you would stay up thinking about a girl you were crushing on. or maybe a kid you wanted to beat up. or maybe about a weekend trip that was going to be fun. but life came down to getting better at the things i wanted to be good at. 

now it seems that the things that keep me up at night could possibly worse then the things i was scared of when i was a kid. i wish all i had to worry about was the boogie man entering from my window and eating my brain. now i have moved on to scarier times. i worry that i will eat my own brain and that is far more scary you see. if you have some time come read me a richard scarry book. i think that would help.  

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

on the refrigerator

there is a magnet that says

"do one thing everyday that scares you"

a nice lady once said this.

what will I do today that scares me?

and you?