Tuesday, January 24, 2012

important times



i wanted to write about something serious. and i started to do that. i got pretty far. but it wasn't that fun. so instead i will write about when i used to stay awake dreaming about the things i loved. 

when i was scared in bed as most little children are at some point in time, i would think about going to a seattle mariners game. i would think about being next to my father. i would be eating peanuts. i would watch in awe as Griffey took the field. and i would be happy and dream about the next time i would be able to go to a game. 

when i wasn't scared. i would dream about soccer. i would play the whole game out in my head. i would dream about what i wanted to improve in. i would think about how i would be a better player. i would visualize it in my mind over and over again.and it was these thoughts that kept me awake deep into the night. after soccer there was tennis. i would do the same thing. i got better at both things. i also lost a lot of sleep thinking about getting better at these things. as with all things we want to be good at, i would have hard times. i would fail sometimes. and i would have to try harder. staying awake thinking about the things that i wanted to be better at lasted until some point in high school. although i can not recall the exact point in time when i stopped, this sensation has been missing for sometime. of course there were distractions. sometimes you would stay up thinking about a girl you were crushing on. or maybe a kid you wanted to beat up. or maybe about a weekend trip that was going to be fun. but life came down to getting better at the things i wanted to be good at. 

now it seems that the things that keep me up at night could possibly worse then the things i was scared of when i was a kid. i wish all i had to worry about was the boogie man entering from my window and eating my brain. now i have moved on to scarier times. i worry that i will eat my own brain and that is far more scary you see. if you have some time come read me a richard scarry book. i think that would help.  
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