Wednesday, February 29, 2012


the places we end up in are unpredictable and great. somehow things end up right. they don't always. but that is the only way i can get from the places i have been to where i am now. and i can only hope that the places i will go are right and nice. when they are wrong then can we fix them? i am not sure about the answer to that question. but i do know that some things are not fixable. some things have no reason.some things are ending. we cant take back an end. it is the end. we can't fix the end. so the only thing i can really want is to go somewhere that doesnt end yet. and when the end comes i hope that all the non-end places i have been are good and nice. if all the non-ending places are good and nice then the ending place will be good and nice. i think. or at least most of the non-ending places are nice? at least half? one third? how about one? i am going to go with sometimes. it was cold today and i like the cold. it also snowed today. i like the snow. it also rained. i like the rain. it was dark cold rainy and snowy. that is a good non-ending place.

Friday, February 17, 2012

sporadic fun times with you and your mind and a piece of imaginary paper

random thoughts on a firday afternoon.

i think i have a new hero. i like meeting people that are heroic. that have done things their way and made a lifetime of stories. its just refreshing to encounter these people.

i saw a drawing today. it was a family kinda like mine. 3 kids. two parents. there were two boys and one girl. but in this drawing the girl was the oldest and there were two little boys running around. i have never thought about what it would have been like if me and my brother were the younger ones... would it have been fun?

i realize that my mind changes so much. but there are a few threads in the clothes that i wear that never change. i will always like earth tones. and i will always want to live the way that i picture life in my head. in the end. i just want to be able to write a book about my life that i would be willing to read eight times. if it is good enough to read eight times, i think ill be content and ready for my next life as a frog.

on fridays what are fun things to do? when i was little i think it was a time to eat out. watch movies. not sleep at eight o' clock. maybe play games. prolly bother my sister and brother until i got in trouble or they were so mad that i started to feel bad. at one point it was float night at the local swimming pool. with dairy queen to follow. it was going to cold beaches at night at another point. it was meeting too many people i didnt want to meet or really want to be friends with. now its just the day that seems peaceful and restless. as much as i love my fridays i resent them. fridays that involve singing are the best. actually singing is the best. i wish i was good at it.

Monday, February 6, 2012

a short story about a rock

one day i was walking along a rocky beach. i had no shoes on.i enjoyed feeling the rocks under my feet. i scanned the beach for the perfect rock. i would stop and pick up many, but none would be the perfect rock. some would fit nicely in my hand. some looked nice. some smelled good. some tasted nice. but none were perfect. 

i think sometimes rocks find their owners. 

i think sometimes i need to walk on that rocky beach for a long time. maybe a lifetime of endless walking and searching will lead me to perfection in a rock. finding perfection is something that i can not give up on. i won't sit still. i have to find the truth and the perfection. if there is a perfect rock, i will find it. i have to find it. and i have to eat it.