Thursday, November 3, 2011

its funny

sometimes its funny... I feel like i have seen a decent amount. i feel like i knew what i wanted. i feel like i was on my way to reaching those things that i thought that i wanted. and then somewhere down the line, things change. and i feel like i am back at square one. i feel like i am just trying to figure out where i want to go. what i want to do. what i need to do. i don't like getting older. i feel like the older i get the more burden i carry. i feel like i keep trapping myself into the life that i thought i wanted to have. i dont want to be forced into something. i want to live the life that i want to live. i want to do the things that i should be doing and the things i want to do. but now, its almost to late. i am trapped. i have trapped myself. isn't it funny?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


these days i need to really focus and make some good realizations. i dont want to dig to deep into these dreams that i have. i hate having expectations for myself. i need to just work with what i have and be okay with it and try to be okay with it and be okay with it. that is something that i am trying to get to understand. for the first time in a long time i can feel myself hiding from my head. i keep running away from all that it is that my head wants to think about and that is really not a good thing to do. and i dont want to do it. but i can feel my head creating these walls. and i know they are there right now. and it seems okay because i know they are there right now.