Tuesday, February 22, 2011

the places we have been

its funny to look back. all those places we have been. the places that felt right that were not so right. the things that seemed odd but were straight.

more then looking back its interesting to look at kids and see the things that they will look back at. i can see it with my reminisced mind and know how it might look to them when they reminisce it on the eve of there 25th. today she told me "i am had a living in the united states revelation"; meaning that she is ready to have a more positive outlook. shes 11 years old. im a little moved. she reminds me a lot of myself. she questions a lot. she also knows all the right things to say, and she always knows when she has made a mistake and justifies it well. shes a little to observant and perceptive. it scares me.

perception is bad.

i wish i could give some of mine away.

i also with i was 11.

Monday, February 14, 2011

a snapshot in my mind

i was driving to the sandwich store to buy a few sandwiches. i like sandwiches. i stopped at a light and was kinda sad to see that the crosswalk light said walk and i had to wait for some people to walk by. to my surprise a father holding his little girls hand come running across my viewfinder. the girl sticks out her hand to say wait and thank you as she zooms by. the father mimics his daughter and then smile and laugh as they run across the street. tracing behind them is the wife and the mother with the look of happiness on her face. its this kind of confidence that can only be seen. that look on their faces. that innocence. It made me smile. if i was a painter i would paint this picture and it would be great. instead im gonna write about it here so i can revisit that snapshot in my memory another day.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

what else you would be good at...

"life is amazing. It's interesting that there is a whole science to the way everything works."

its interesting to see how fast our minds can change. we can really desire and really want something now, and for the last 27 hours, but that can change almost instantly. the same can happen to something that has been wanted for 27 years. i am constantly thinking about what else i would be good at. im already pretty amazing at a lot of things, but i want to know what else i might be good at. what else i could be good at.

its strange because recently i have been thinking about how important it is to practice one thing over and over and over again in order to get better at it. the more time spent in, the sicker your going to be. and we all want to be down with the sickness and get trapped in the wrath of the darkness which we create with our hands and heads.

these days however, it seems that knowing a little bit about everything is just as sick. people being famous for being famous, ethnographers known for being everywhere shooting everything. just being versed in life is interesting and amazing. would it be cool to be that kid. that person that just knows everything that just knows that many cool cats.

would you want to be the art history kid that knows a bit about all art? or that art history guru of that one famous cat. you know the everything about that cat. both would be pretty nice. and like many things outside this world we can't have both. we can focus on that one thing for our lives and be the sickest. or we could focus on nothing and everything and be that kinda sick.

then again if i am looking at music, i think its pretty sick to be good at it all. looking at the two cats i like a lot, they both play a lot of instruments. they both record lawyering themselves in order to get that band like feel.

i used to think that i wanted to be the amazing that knows all amazing things. but more and more i want to be the amazing in that small amazing area. either way i will be sick. and i will have the darkness for your mind.