Wednesday, September 28, 2011


i dont feel like im very old, but i think i am finally at that stage where i feel younger then i am. i have to tell myself to be less playful and more serious. i dont want to do this. i really dont. but i think its time that i start thinking that way. 

just kidding. im gonna keep playing. keep dreaming. and keep chasing the fun in life. sorry. im just a chaser. im going to keep running and chasing until there is nothing left, or until i win.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


the ability to see something is nice and good.

although i like interesting things. and interesting things are usually things that are not transparent. it is sometimes strange that transparent things are interesting. someone who might be completely transparent would be an honest thing. that honest thing might not be interesting. but if a tree were transparent it would be honest and amazingly interesting.

in our actions we can be transparent living creatures of this place. with endless wrongs going around us. with truth being manipulated constantly. would it be nice to have a some transparency? where things would just be done with honesty. everything would be visible. complete transparency.

is this wish for something uninteresting?  probably. in that case just send me a transparent tree so that i can gaze at it endlessly and forever.

rain is transparent. and i like rain. rain also washes away the film that covers this place. it can lead to a new start. after rain are clear skies. rain helps other living things grow. i wonder if rain would feed transparent trees? would transparent creatures thirst upon transparent rain? would a nice raspberry burst with transparent juice? if there was transparency we wouldn't have to rely on our scenes. scenes are just trying to see through things anyways. they just try to uncover that filth that sticks to the world with its deep manipulation and falsehoods. we are going to need a lot of rain to wash that filth from this place.

i like the sneeches. they put stars on there bellies and then remove them. once day stars on the bellies are the way to go. the next stars upon the belly are the wrong way. send me a star removing machine. and send me a star making machine. i will need both.

and a clear raspberry.

and a transparent tree.

and some water.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

on the edge


Sometimes its strange what we remember. The conversations we remember. the people we remember. the thoughts that ran through our heads. We can't seem to understand why certain things are important. Yet, I have such vivid memories of somethings.

I think i will always remember this. The speech I heard from a classmate during my 3rd year of undergrad. She stood brave in front of the class talking about how she felt as if she was teetering on the edge. She had not fallen off the other side, yet she was not on stable ground. She talked about the struggle to stay on the right side, the struggle of not falling, the constant battle which she had to stay right and do the right thing.

I think this is what makes some of us great. We never lose focus on that thing. We teeter constantly, but we do not fall. We stay true. We keep striving to do the right thing. We know that sometimes we have to sacrifice a lot to do the right thing,. Sometimes we just have to give up a little bit of the things that we want in order to do the right thing.

I know I strive to teeter longer. I know that I have almost fallen many times. But I also know that I don't want to fall into the darkness. I want to stay well, I want to be proud of the life that I will live. Now and in the future I want to stay teetering, stay challenged, and stay ready to take on the next step of the way. Every time I want to be reminded of the hard times when we might not know how to act.

I want to just be happy with all the choices I make. I want to just be able to look back on the choices which I have made along the way and be able to relive my life with a smile.

I just want to smile. a lot. and sometimes.

Monday, September 12, 2011

here we go

i like being in this new place.
i like meeting new people.
i like meeting new nice minds.
i like learning in this kind of setting again.
i like walking around new places endlessly.
i like not knowing what tomorrow will be like.
i like getting lost all over this city.
i like the youngness of this place.

i just hope i can find my place in this place.