Sunday, October 21, 2012

october sky, the smell of october, and the taste of the fall rain

so it is october. its been a while... i havent written in this place in a while. i guess i tend to neglect the important parts of my live when im moving fast and running faster. the last little bit of time has been a journey. i feel different and my thoughts are starting to change. but somethings are always the same. they way that i brush my teeth has changed, due to this new electronic one. its amazing. i like it. funny how i never wanted to invest in one, and now im pretty sad that i waited so long.

i found out i really like to cook for people. its kinda funny how much happiness it brings to me. i am no master. and i dont really know much, but i do enjoy it a lot. although i pretty much have zero desire to ever work in a restaurant or own one. i just want to be a nice home cook. make nice meals for people i like. i like to have dinner parties. if you would like me to cook for you, ill make you something, just let me know.

i need to take a few steps back and get back to some basics. i can feel myself tying to run fast enough to fly and i can't fly too well so i want to ease off just a bit.

i started to play tennis a lot again and that is real real nice. im happy to be doing that. it clears my head and teaches me to be strong and amazing.

i am really not sure what is next what i should be thinking, what i want to be thinking. but i wanted to let some of the crazyness in my mind out. sometimes if i dont write for too long all the crazy just builds up and hides in my head. and that is when i know im in trouble. when it stops trying to get out. then i know. its starting to hide and i might not be able to find it again. and then i would really go crazy. and i dont really want to be crazy. i just want to be sometimes crazy. or a little bit crazy.

i really like long drives in the morning. sometimes it can get to be a lot. but i think i like a decent drive in the morning. when i work like 5-10 min from home, i just dont like the feeling. i need that morning drive and singing session to get me ready for the days work. tomorrow i get to drive to the cape. and although it might be a bit far, im looking forward to it. it's supposed to be nice, and fall is here, so im pretty excited to see all the nice cars on the road and colors of trees and follow the colors of the wind down to a place i have never been before.

i am starting to like fish more. pretty strange. but i guess its good. i just dont like the smell that much. fish is like a new adventure of cooking.

i wonder what truth looks like...
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