i think

i am always ready for the next step. maybe i need to start thinking about the board room meetings that take place in my head. i need to find out all about those secret meetings in basement of my brain. did you get the memo that was left in the attic of my head? bottle up and explode.

another important conversation in that head of mine

its time for me to spill a little out again.

this month i will make a pretty big choice. and its not one of those things where my heart is one place and the logic is somewhere else. its not that confusing. its pretty straight forward. two very viable choices that will build foundations for a good happy life. whatever that is. i dont want a good happy life anyways. i want a crazy one where the world falls everyday. where i dont know where i will be tomorrow. so maybe i should choose that one. the option x. but im not that kid. i wish i was everyday though.

anyways. i dont know what to do. why do both choices have to be good? do things happen for a reason? i dont really think like that. ill just flip a coin. if you have a nice one please send me one. i dont have many nice coins.

yellowish

times are painting the view which is seen through some eyes on the face of our minds. Can you depict those sights? can you decode them? with the eyes that are so trustworthy? can you place your confidence in those color identifying machines? show me your ways and ill show you how to do it right.

bop

im gonna bop you

famous

if i ever become famous successful and amazing. i am going to give it all up and live in a winter wonderland. or under a bee hive. or under the ocean. is it strange that the only reason i would want be famous and successful is so that i could give it all up. thats my dream in life.

i heard

D: What other plane can there be for the maker?

B: Logically none. yet I speak of an art turning from it in disgust, weary of puny exploits, weary of pretending to be able, of bing able, of doing a little better the same of thing, of going a little further along a dreary road.

D: and preferring what?

B: the expression that there is nothing to express, nothing with which to express, nothing from which to express, no power to express, no desire to express, together with the obligation to express.

D: but that is violently extreme and personal point of view, of no help to us in the matter of tal coat.

B: ---

d: perhaps that is enough for today.

----

That feeling that you get when u finish a book. where u just sit in disbelief that it is over. that that place you got lost in for a while is now gone. a lifetime lost. then its on to the next one. i like that feeling after you finish. although describing makes it seem like a bad feeling. its a good one. i am crazy words.

the places we have been

its funny to look back. all those places we have been. the places that felt right that were not so right. the things that seemed odd but were straight.

more then looking back its interesting to look at kids and see the things that they will look back at. i can see it with my reminisced mind and know how it might look to them when they reminisce it on the eve of there 25th. today she told me "i am had a living in the united states revelation"; meaning that she is ready to have a more positive outlook. shes 11 years old. im a little moved. she reminds me a lot of myself. she questions a lot. she also knows all the right things to say, and she always knows when she has made a mistake and justifies it well. shes a little to observant and perceptive. it scares me.

perception is bad.

i wish i could give some of mine away.

i also with i was 11.